I think I need to leave town again. I’m getting too used to finding money and keeping up a drug habit that I don’t want to have. I’m a little afraid. I had never stopped breathing before. Now I’m in a lot of pain and I want more of what put me in this pain in the first place to get me out. Send help.

Birthday bonfire. #marshmallows #explosions

Birthday bonfire. #marshmallows #explosions

Me and my mommy and my little christa for her birthday!! #birfdaygrrl #cupcakes #pretty

Me and my mommy and my little christa for her birthday!! #birfdaygrrl #cupcakes #pretty

My monkey food. Been trying to eat this bowl of cereal all day. #banana #hungry #headaches #tastesgoodsoggy

My monkey food. Been trying to eat this bowl of cereal all day. #banana #hungry #headaches #tastesgoodsoggy

Cant sleep. Keep having talks with you in my head. There’s so much I want to say and so much I’ve come to realize. I’m trying to be a better person, I really am trying. I think I’m succeeding too, I can’t tell. I just wish I hadn’t taken you for granted. That’s my regret. I wish I hadn’t hurt you, that’s another one. I wish for someone to come and give you all the love you deserve. I wish I had given it to you when I had the chance. I’ve destroyed everything and even though this is the lonliest I’ve felt in a very very long time, I know it will pass. If I ever get what I had with you, the feeling, again I wont let it go. I wont take it for granted. I will love them and take care of them. I wish I had taken care of you. I’m so sorry. I don’t know how you knew. I wish I had known. I wish I could take everything back, and I wish you had never met me. You’d be better off and I wouldn’t have hurt you. You were so important and irreplaceable. I gave that away and hurt you in the process, and for what? To think about you constantly, to obsess over you, to miss you, to be a stupid idiot asshole. The damage is done though, and now I have to live with it. Everything will be fine in the end. 

I’m going to be in an art show, I’m so excited and flattered.

I GOT A NEW PHONE!

first two pictures taken from my phone.

i love this. im so itchy and warm and uncaring and my tooth doesnt hurt a bit! the best part is i will be able to stay in a constant state of this for a goodwhile.

all this pain medicine is making me crazy. everything confuses me.