My sexy girlfriend ♡ #prettygirls #bestfriend #drunk #inlove

My sexy girlfriend ♡ #prettygirls #bestfriend #drunk #inlove

This cute boy #crush #lookingood #iwearmy #sunglasses #atnight

This cute boy #crush #lookingood #iwearmy #sunglasses #atnight

Playing with filters. Lol this doesnt look anything like the original picture. #sogoddamnedited #doesntevenlooklikeme #stillprettythough

Playing with filters. Lol this doesnt look anything like the original picture. #sogoddamnedited #doesntevenlooklikeme #stillprettythough

euo:

“I hope that when the world comes to an end, I can breathe a sigh of relief, because there will be so much to look forward to.”
Donnie Darko (2001) dir. Richard Kelly

euo:

I hope that when the world comes to an end, I can breathe a sigh of relief, because there will be so much to look forward to.”

Donnie Darko (2001) dir. Richard Kelly

(via euo)

sovietxprincess:

If you’re a guy who likes looking at pictures of naked girls but loses respect for a girl if she posts a naked picture of herself, you can get lost

(Source: princessxkaty, via too-stoned-to-remember)

youlookhomeless:

 

officialfrenchtoast:

"hey don’t you have a crush on…"

image

(via euo)

(Source: , via unofficialthesmiths)

(Source: equestrian.ru, via opioide)

(Source: goodnight-lenin, via eye-fvck)

nevver:

Peter Griffin’s instagram

(Source: degeneracy-pressure, via eye-fvck)

(Source: spicy-vagina-tacos, via oknope)

hipster-trichster:

2makeyewsmile:

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding. Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.  Officer: Don’t have one? Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving. Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Woman: I can’t do that. Officer: Why not? Woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer: You what? Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Woman: Is there a problem sir? Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Woman: Murdered the owner? Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am? Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The first officer is stunned. Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

that was a wild ride

hipster-trichster:

2makeyewsmile:

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: Don’t have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can’t do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle
please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

that was a wild ride

(via armadillo)

I think I need to leave town again. I’m getting too used to finding money and keeping up a drug habit that I don’t want to have. I’m a little afraid. I had never stopped breathing before. Now I’m in a lot of pain and I want more of what put me in this pain in the first place to get me out. Send help.

Birthday bonfire. #marshmallows #explosions

Birthday bonfire. #marshmallows #explosions